Hum Hallelujuh A Look Inside Edward's Head
by OnceUponABrokenFairytale
Summary: WARNING: MAJOR LOVE STORY SPOILER! IF YOU WANT TO BE SURPRISED, DON'T READ ANY FURTHER! A look inside Edward's head when he starts to get the feeling that somewhere, somehow, Serena is alive. Rated M cuz I'm paranoid.


**WARNING: ULTIMATE SPOILER FOR LOVE STORY!!!!!!!!!**

**Hum Hallelujah- Edward & Serena/Bella**

**A Look Into Edward's Journal**

_It's all a game of this or that, now versus then  
Better off against worse for wear  
And you're someone who knows someone who knows someone I once knew  
And I just want to be a part of this_

Bella; she doesn't know me as well as Serena did. When I said that I'd never felt the love that I felt for her before, I lied. I actually went to visit Aro because he was the last connection I had to her. Marcus went into a deep depression, and Aro lost his mind a little bit, but they were her family. I miss Serena.

_The road outside my house is paved with good intentions  
Hired a construction crew, 'cause it's hell on the engine  
And you are the dreamer and we are the dream.  
I could write it better than you ever felt it._

Bella said that she had a dream of me with a golden-eyed, black-haired, human beauty. I assumed that if she were to be changed, she would have the ability to see the past. I was able to convince her that it was just a dream, but still, fear gripped me. If she were ever to find out, she would hate me for lying. I meant no harm at the time. I miss Serena.

_So hum hallelujah, just off the key of reason  
I thought I loved you, but it was just how you looked in the light.  
A teenage vow in a parking lot  
"Till tonight do us part"  
I sing the blues and swallow them too._

Before now, I would have sworn that I was in love with Bella. But now, as I lie under the stars alone, I realize that because I was so in need of love, so deprived of it, that I convinced myself that she was the one to heal my wounds. Serena was and is my true love. I miss her.

_My words are my faith to hell with our good name.  
A remix of your guts-your insides X-rayed  
And one day we'll get nostalgic for disaster  
We're a bull, your ears are just a china shop_

I know that I can not leave Bella. Even though I now know that I do not actually feel for her like I once thought I did, I've seen what it does to her. Serena is long gone, after that horrible attack. Curse you ****** for taking away her pure, human soul. I miss her.

_I love you in the same way, there's a chapel in a hospital  
One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door  
Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills.  
I could write it better than you ever felt it._

Serena used to joke about getting married in a hospital to please Carlisle; she really loved him like a father. We actually considered the option for a while. For some reason, lately, my mind is plagued with the longing to see her blush, to hear her beautiful laughter once again. I feel so tempted to tell Bella goodbye, but I don't have the heart. I wish they had a vampire pill for longing. I miss Serena.

_So hum hallelujah, just off the key of reason  
I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light.  
A teenage vow in a parking lot  
"Till tonight do us part"  
I sing the blues and swallow them too_

I told Bella forever; I told Serena forever; I am a heartless creature. I feel as if I've betrayed Serena for accepting Bella's love; but at the same time the whole "till death do us part" line did apply to Serena. I can't shake the feeling that she is still alive. I miss Serena.

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu...  
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu..._

If there is a heaven and hell, Serena is an angel, and if I am fortunate enough to die one day, I'm going to hell for tampering with both her and Bella's hearts. I miss Serena.

_A teenage vow in a parking lot  
"Till tonight do us part"  
I sing the blues and swallow them too  
So hum hallelujah, just off the key of reason  
I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light.  
A teenage vow in a parking lot  
"Till tonight do us part"  
Love in a parking lot  
"Till tonight do us part"  
A teenage vow in a parking lot  
"Till tonight do us part"  
I sing the blues and swallow them too_

Forever & Always; I will love Serena.


End file.
